Lost

I wish you were here to make me laugh 'til I cry.
To call me out when I lie to myself.
I wish I could hug you and cry on your shoulder.
Just the sound of your voice lifts the weight of the boulder-
holding me down, suffocating me.
I am unable to breathe, trapped and unable to leave.
I don't know where to go or which way to head,
I am lost and confused, motionless instead.

I wish things were different, but I'm tired of trying
to get back what was, I'd only be lieing.
If I go back, will it be the same?
I'm afraid it won't be like it was again-
We are not the same people, we both have changed.
Or am I'm afraid that it will be the same?
And that it's no longer enough to sustain-
my desires and needs. I'm afraid of everything the future could bring.

So here I am frozen in time
Not sure if I can make the climb or if I'll fall behind.
Afraid to move ahead for fear of being misled
to something different, or instead
to something we once had.

I'm tainted now and want so much more
Than I ever did before.
I can't stop wanting him. It doesn't make sense.
I can't focus on my life. I am a total mess, so lonely and depressed.
How did this happen, who's to blame
Am falling in love? I'm completely insane.

I am lost and confused
I've been misled and misused.
I doubt I'll get out unscathed and unbruised.
I wish you were here, without a doubt
to help me find my way out.

Dumping Ground

It would be nice if you shared with me, things other than your stress.
I only hear from you when you are under duress.
We don't laugh or talk about anything funny
We only discuss the kids and the money.
We don't make love or hug or kiss
These are things that I really miss.
I'd listen to your worries and pain
If you talked to me other than just to complain.
I'd be happy to listen as you share your turmoil
If you listened to mine once in a while.
I'd listen to every word every sound
But please don't make me your dumping ground.