My World

Crashing, smashing, tumbling down
Chaos and debris all around.
The wounded and damaged can't be found
Curled up and crying, they don't make a sound.

My World is caving, I'm beginning to drown.
I'm lost as the pain in my head starts to pound.
Buried beneath, I look all around
Silently screaming, not making a sound.

Sadness

The sadness overwhelms
As her body shakes
She wishes she could erase
All the past mistakes.

And clear her mind
Of memories gone bad
Remember the good ones
As the only ones they had.

Where did it all go wrong?
How did all fade away?
The life and love they shared
Was always meant to stay.

She wishes it were different
They could go back in time
To a time when hearts were pure
To a place where love is blind.

Spade

It is what it is
Call it that way
A spade is a spade
No matter what game you play.

Think about what you are doing
Said Miss Kettle to Miss Pot
Stop lieing to yourself
Pretending that it's not.

Dare I say the word?
A whisper off the tongue.
There, I said it.
No longer can I run.

What have I lost?
It still remains the same,
No matter what you call it
A rose is still a rose, by any other name.

My life has taken
many unexpected turns.
Always moving forward
Not able to return.

Lost

I wish you were here to make me laugh 'til I cry.
To call me out when I lie to myself.
I wish I could hug you and cry on your shoulder.
Just the sound of your voice lifts the weight of the boulder-
holding me down, suffocating me.
I am unable to breathe, trapped and unable to leave.
I don't know where to go or which way to head,
I am lost and confused, motionless instead.

I wish things were different, but I'm tired of trying
to get back what was, I'd only be lieing.
If I go back, will it be the same?
I'm afraid it won't be like it was again-
We are not the same people, we both have changed.
Or am I'm afraid that it will be the same?
And that it's no longer enough to sustain-
my desires and needs. I'm afraid of everything the future could bring.

So here I am frozen in time
Not sure if I can make the climb or if I'll fall behind.
Afraid to move ahead for fear of being misled
to something different, or instead
to something we once had.

I'm tainted now and want so much more
Than I ever did before.
I can't stop wanting him. It doesn't make sense.
I can't focus on my life. I am a total mess, so lonely and depressed.
How did this happen, who's to blame
Am falling in love? I'm completely insane.

I am lost and confused
I've been misled and misused.
I doubt I'll get out unscathed and unbruised.
I wish you were here, without a doubt
to help me find my way out.

Dumping Ground

It would be nice if you shared with me, things other than your stress.
I only hear from you when you are under duress.
We don't laugh or talk about anything funny
We only discuss the kids and the money.
We don't make love or hug or kiss
These are things that I really miss.
I'd listen to your worries and pain
If you talked to me other than just to complain.
I'd be happy to listen as you share your turmoil
If you listened to mine once in a while.
I'd listen to every word every sound
But please don't make me your dumping ground.

Honesty is a Lie

Honesty is the best policy, so they say.
But it's all a mirage leading you astray.
When you are honest and share how you  feel,
Anger, hurt, and resentment reveal.

I'm intolerant you say.
It's not your fault you're this way.
I should just accept it and let it lay.
You blame everything under the sun,
It can't be helped, you've become a victim.

Every time you claim it's not your fault,
You bring hope of resolution to a halt.
What good comes from honesty
When we refuse to believe
We don't have control or accountability.

So does  honesty really identify root cause,
Or is it a band aid, some tape and some gauze?
That covers our wounds our heartache and pain,
And feels like we've nothing to lose again?

But once we are honest, we can't take it back
It's out in the open awaiting attack.
I've learned this today and I'll never deny
Honesty is the best policy is only a Lie.

Sophia

The conversation we had this time felt more than shooting the breeze.
It felt more than meaningless small talk in between our activity.
We talked about life and death and other serious things;
You made a comment about our parting last time and being worried about me.
You lingered even though...I said it's time to go.
And even then, you still wanted me.

Unknown

I think about you all the time
You are always on my mind.
I yearn for you each day,
Wishing we were not away
from each other for so long.
I don't know why it feels so wrong.
I'm venturing into the unknown
where I should never have gone
But here I find myself
Between a rock and a hard place,
Needing you all to myself.
It can't be, will never be.
So why do we dare,
Yet we are aware
Still, we choose not to see.

How Sweet

How sweet it would be
If I could run away
just for a day
and be somebody....
anybody other than me.

How sweet it would be
to laugh and feel
and layer by layer, to peel-
to strip away the surreal
existence of responsibility.

How sweet it would be
If I could be just me
to laugh and dream and feel
to find my soul
beneath the hole,
of my reality.

Pretend

I pretend to be loved when I am with you.
I pretend to be wanted and beautiful too.

I pretend to be whole when I am with you.
I pretend to be safe and protected too.

When I am with you, I pretend I'm alive.
I pretend it's all real..Yet I know it's a lie.